The Hidden Struggles:

I woke up this morning with the motivation to write about how toxic masculinity is killing some good men due to the label that society has placed on what masculinity is “supposed” to look like. As I opened my computer this morning, the first thing I read was that Twitch, from The Ellen Degeneres Show, took his life. I often think of all the people in Hollywood that have taken their lives. To us it seems that they have everything going for them and then BAM! We hear the shocking news that someone famous to us has taken their life, at that moment we realize that we never really know what someone is going through. All the money and fame doesn’t fulfill the empty parts, the struggles and the pain that every human goes through. There needs to be a HUGE light shined on the topic of toxic masculinity,  a lot of men have taken their lives because of how society has labeled them as weak for asking for help or expressing their feelings. I believe that my husband was one of them.

The Impact of Society's Labels

Twitch was a well-known and seemingly happy guy but obviously had hidden struggles, as many of us do. Did you know that the statistics show that men die by suicide 3 to 5 more times than woman? I wonder how much of society’s labels have had something to do with that. When someone takes their life, many times it is because they feel that life would be better without them here. This is simply not true. I believe in my heart that if my husband had felt comfortable enough to talk about his challenges and feelings without being judged he may still be with us. This is something that I think of often.  My husband can not be brought back to us,  but I can speak to the hearts of men that may be feeling like he did. “You Matter, your life is valuable, if you are going through a hard time it will not last forever, it takes courage to talk to someone, but you are courageous! Humans are supposed to feel their feelings and no one has the right to judge you for feeling them! Why care what anyone else thinks when it comes to your life. YOU MATTER! Reach out there is support available to you during the hard times of life. If you're reading this and your life is in danger dial 988.

Breaking Gender Stereotypes

Society does not put a gender-specific bias on crying when we are born, why should that change as we get older? I encourage you to create a safe space for a male in your life, whom you love, to express their emotions without judgment. This could be a child, spouse, friend,partner or a family member. Let’s empower our men to feel comfortable to ask for help and express their feelings,creating a safe space. I'm confident if this societal norm gender bias pertaining to emotional intelligence was “canceled” many lives could be saved. 

The Importance of Communication

Find a man in your life and tell him you love him, hug him, share that you can imagine the pressure he must feel to hold up to the societal norms and pressure that is placed upon him

and that if he ever needs to talk you are a safe space to listen.

Being vulnerable is hard to do sometimes and admirable because it is hard to do. 

My final thought is this: If something is hard to do and goes against societal norms and one does it anyway, wouldn't that actually make them the courageous ones? 

Send this to a man you love in your life and let them know that they matter to you. 

If you feel like this article could help someone please share it on your social media, we never know who needs to hear this message and whose life it may save.

With Hope & Love,

Crystal